Wednesday, 25 June 2008

What to expect when you're addicted

It’s finally become an obsession. I’ll admit it. I’m addicted to TTC and it’s beginning to drive me crazy. DH is very close to calling the men in white coats to come and lock me away. I can’t think about anything else but OPK’s (ovulation prediction kit), checking my temperature, buying more HPT’s (Home pregnancy tests) and cutting back on caffeine.
I ovulated on Monday but didn’t say a word to DH this time. What was I meant to say?
“Care for a BD (baby dance) darling? Aunt Flo has finally left and my basal body temperature is currently sitting at a comfortable 36.21 degrees. I checked my mucous and it’s egg-white and stretchy. What ya say handsome?”
Thankfully, I caught myself just in time before the words spilled from my lips.

My book has arrived!! Started reading my ‘What to expect when you’re expecting’ book today, I found out that 25% of couples fall pregnant in the first month of TTC. Hmmm, DH and I have been trying for 3 months so must read next column. 60% of couples fall pregnant within 6 months of TTC. Yippee!! Surely DH and I will be UTD soon. Loving this statistic. Next column reads that 15% of couples have fertility issues and will surpass the 12 month mark. P’ah! DH and I are healthy and happy. Surely no fertility issues here!

Someone on TTC forum mentions a cheap website for OPK’s, HPT’s and PreSeed. Yippee! I can know feed my bad habit and POAS daily if I need too. I order 50 OPKs, 10 HPT’s and a box of PreSeed. The parcel arrives just in time. I’m CD29 and due to test tomorrow. The following morning, I wake up at 5am, race to the toilet and POAS! I watch the stick like a hawk watching it’s prey. Control line is very visible….. now waiting for the second line to appear. Two minutes passes. Four minutes passes…. It’s now five minutes and no second line appears. My eyes want to well up with tears, but my brain isn’t sending the signal. It’s still asleep. I go back to bed and try to sleep. Then I remember a woman on TTC forum who thought her test was negative and ten minutes later two lines appeared. So I retrieve the test from the bin and keep an eye on it for the next hour. It is now time to shower and get ready for work, and no second line appears. This time my brain is awake and I cry over another negative HPT.

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