Thursday, 28 June 2012

CD38 / 22DPO / 17DPT of ICSI #4

Our day 5 Blastie
3rd round of beta results are in:

hCG = 786

Progesterone = 17.9
Estrogen = 1802

Once again, my levels have increased. The clinic nurse was a little more optimistic this time as my levels have doubled nicely every 24 hours. I was warned once again, to head to the hospital should I start experiencing any pain but so far the only pain I’ve had are achy hips. I get the odd cramp but it disappears after an hour or so.

The happy dance continues ….. until ……

FS called about an hour after nurse and started preparing me for the worse. I couldn’t believe it. FS basically tells me the chances of this turning into a successful preg are slim to none. I was told to start preparing for a bad outcome and we can try again after a month of resting.
If my levels reach 2,000, she’ll administer the MTX injection.

What?????  My levels are increasing nicely and FS wants to abort the pregnancy before it’s even had a solid chance of survival.

I’m feeling pretty devastated.

Once I got home, I started googling and researching for other women who have been in my position – there are loads of bad stories and loads of good stories.

So I figure I’ll keep praying for our miracle – miracles do happen.

It ain’t over yet.

Monday, 25 June 2012

CD35 / 19DPO / 14DPT of ICSI #4

It's Monday and time for 2nd round of beta results: 

hCG = 102
Prog = 9.5

Instead of dropping, my levels have increased. I secretly want to do a happy dance and be happy, however nurse told me to suspect an ectopic preg. Apparently such low levels that increase can result in an ectopic.

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not again.  

I cannot and WILL not go through an ectopic again. My bleeding has now stopped completely - was it an early miscarriage? Or can I still be hopeful? Loads of women have bleeding in the early stages of pregnancy.

So I've now been told to head to the hospital should I experience any sudden abdominal pain. If I don't visit hospital between now and Thursday, I need to head back to the clinic for a 3rd round of betas. 

I'm secretly praying and hoping this is a late implanter and my levels have tripled by Thursday :)

Poor DH, doesn't know what to think. So I'll continue to pray and have faith that my little miracle is trying really hard to implant and send the next 9 months in my womb.

Friday, 22 June 2012

CD32 / 16DPO / 11DPT of ICSI #4

Started spotting yesterday afternoon so figured the beta results today would be doomed.

I woke up this morning to bright red blood, however I had no pain. The odd cramp but it wasn't painful. 

My results are in:
hCG = 16
Prog = 3.6

The nurse told me the result was negative and my FS would call me a bit later to discuss our next step. 

When FS called, she told me the hCG was low. 

I said, "What? I thought it was zero?". 

FS said "Your results are considered negative but you're reading is only 16 which is too low for a viable pregnancy". 

I told her about my spotting and then bleeding today and she said it sounded like a chemical pregnancy and I was experiencing an early miscarriage. My repeat beta test is Monday (3 days time) to check my levels have dropped.

I have no idea how I did it, but I managed to continue working the entire day in the office. I didn't cry. I didn't scream and shout at staff. I'm even contemplating working tomorrow, on a Saturday, just to avoid thinking about the inevitable. 

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

CD30 / 14DPO / 9DPT of ICSI #4

I had vowed not to POAS this week, however something got the better of me yesterday and I found an old IC HPT under the bathroom sink and decided to test. 

Low and behold, it was .....


Shock. Horror. How could that be? I have all the pregnancy symptoms. HAHAHA!! As a veteran of this IVF procedure, you'd think I'd remind myself daily that these symptoms are also AF.

I jumped in the shower and tried really hard not to cry. The rest of my day was a write off - I was miserable and didn't want to talk to anyone.

I was on the verge of a mini breakdown, especially after DH and BF screamed at me for testing so early. But I don't think it was early. 85% of women discover a BFP at 13DPO. Anyway, lesson learned and I won't be testing again - I intend to wait for my beta test on Friday. 

In the meantime, the symptoms continue:
  • Sooooo tired
  • AF cramps
  • Sharp jabbing pain on the left side
  • Slight bloating
  • Sore boobs
  • Insomnia
  • Wake up hot
  • Nausea in the morning - coffee is a struggle
  • Blocked sinus
I'm telling myself today to have FAITH, have HOPE and to BELIEVE this can happen. I will see a BFP one day.

Friday, 15 June 2012

CD25 / 9DPO / 4DPT of ICSI #4

Feeling a bit blah today. 

Here is a list of what I'm noticing:
  • Cramp on left side
  • Stuffy nose
  • Ulcer in my mouth
  • Finally poo'd (thanks to a laksa)
  • Lower backache
  • Heavy bloating - I look ridiculous
  • Both boobs are now sore
  • So tired after meals


Friday, 1 June 2012

CD11 of ICSI #4

CD11 today. So far I've had 13 injections, 2 blood tests and 1 scan. I'm experiencing bloating, cramps, exhaustion and have no appetite.

My scan yesterday showed 12 follicles - the largest one was 14.5mm which for me is a little on the small side. Maybe my LOR is getting worse?
I have another blood test and scan tomorrow morning and I'm hoping the follicles are increasing in size. My BF is flying up to Sydney tomorrow to spend the weekend with me so it'll be nice to have some company at the appt tomorrow. 

Other than the obvious, life goes on. DH and I are going to a concert at the Opera House tonight - seeing The Temper Trap - with a group of friends.