Sunday, 5 December 2010

Understanding our story

DH and I made the decision early in this TTC journey to be open and honest about our issues and what we are going through. We had nothing to be ashamed of after all. What we didn’t expect was for our journey to be a topic of conversation whenever we are guests at a social event. Friends and family are not afraid to ask questions or provide advice. (Because let’s face it; everyone has a story, everyone has advice and everyone thinks it’s ok to tell us what we should be doing).

This took some getting use too. Our parents didn’t bring us up to talk about sex, sperm and vaginas at the dinner table. However people are interested in our story so we answer those personal questions as best we can.

Typing my feelings into this blog each month soothes my anger and sadness. I have no idea if we’ll ever be blessed with children or if everything will continue to be a disappointment. What I do know is I want to be able to help others understand infertility.

It ain’t easy living in a society where family is everything. My husband and I are confronted EVERY SINGLE DAY with our inability to have children; whether it’s a Fisher and Price ad on TV, seeing a pregnant woman in the street or the Kindergarten centre across the road from our apartment. All of it has some kind of impact on us as individuals and as a couple.

Instead of preparing for parenthood and buying cute outfits, cots, prams and car seats, DH and I are forced to either save for our next IVF cycle
or pay off the last failed cycle. Instead of turning our spare room into a nursery, DH and I are forced to keep the door shut so it’s not a constant reminder.

We’ve spent over $30,000 on assisted conception and still there is no hint of a stork visiting us anytime soon.

All we want is a family of our very own. Hard for us and easy for others.

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