Thursday, 18 October 2012

I think I can, I think I can

I know it's been a while in between posts. DH and I have done a lot of soul-searching, healing, travelling, drinking and talking the past months.

The days following my discharge from hospital, I WAS MESS. Emotionally I had been ripped apart and I still have no idea how DH stayed around to pick up the pieces - it must be true love! I truly hated that I was back in this heart wrenching position again. Another baby lost. The feelings of hopelessness and guilt came flooding back from March and it was almost too much to process.  I had mini breakdowns everyday for a week.

I also had a lot of anger towards my dad for not visiting me and anger towards so-called friends for not caring enough to call/text/email/visit after we'd suffered another loss.  Let's just say we now know who our true friends are!

Once I was back on my feet again, we immediately saw our counselor. Within hours I was a changed women - vowing to let go of the anger, begin an active lifestyle and vowing not to give up just yet.

With that in mind, we jetted to the USA and spent a few weeks visiting New York, partying our way through Las Vegas and finally some much needed RnR in Hawaii. The holiday did wonders for our marriage and cemented it's foundations once again. DH and I fell in love again and again .... it was so sweet.

It's now October and DH and I wanted to give a home insemination another attempt, but at the 11th hour I chickened out. Something inside of me just wasn't quite ready. I asked DH would it be OK to give this month a miss and of course he was OK with it. Instead, we had a great month spending quality time with our 'rugby' family and had a great night at the Rugby Presentation Ball (see pic) at the Hilton Sydney.

So I've got another three weeks to calm my life down, get really healthy in mind, body and spirit and focus all my energies into the next baby making mission.

Watch this space my friends xx 


Anonymous said...

I don't think you can. I know you can. You have had a shit time recently so I was pleased to have read about your holiday. This whole TTC rubbish plays havoc on a relationship. Stay strong lovely lady.

Take care
Naomi (Puddycat)

PS - You are stunning!

Stalking a Stork said...

Puddycat - thanks for stopping by and telling me to stay strong. Love your ongoing support!