Tuesday, 26 February 2013

Today is my due date

Today is my due date for pregnancy number #2 (our IVF cycle).

Today is meant to be a joyous celebration of new life, a new family member and a VIP pass into parenthood.

Today is meant to be my due date.

I feel like I'm grieving all over again. It's like my body knows that it is supposed to be going through something big right now and my emotions are all over the place and unpredictable. A combination of emptiness, sadness, loss and major disappointment are boiling inside of me.

I want nothing more than to be pregnant right now. I want nothing more than to be a mum.

But I'm not pregnant and it appears I won't be a mum.

Hubby is doing his best to be supportive. I've been acting out of sorts and strange all week after my mini breakdown last Tuesday. GP thinks I'm suffering from anxiety and depression. Hubby just wants to fix me and all I want is for Hubby to listen and hold me. I know he's doing his best but I find myself lashing out at him for nothing.

It's been a bad week, a very bad week.


Anonymous said...

Hi, I have been reading your blog and following your journey, I'm sorry you have had such sorrow. We've been ttc for 4 years. I'm 14dp3dt with icsi and waiting my beta. I took a hpt 11dpt and it was bfn. I don't know if I can face trying again...where do you get your strength?

Anonymous said...

I check your blog every day!

Update soon please.


Shannon said...

I check every day too! Waiting for an update and thinking of you.