Law of attraction

Wikipedia defines 'The Law of Attraction' of as a metaphysical new thought belief that 'like attracts like', that positive and negative thinking bring about positive and negative results, respectively. 

For example, the phrase "I want a baby" allows me to continue "wanting a baby". If I focus my thoughts on the goal (having a baby) rather than the problem (wanting a baby).

This is not a new concept for me but it is a new path I've decided to dedicate some time too. Call it a spiritual journey. Call it a crock of shit. But I have nothing to lose in this quest of parenthood, this is simply adapting to a new way of thinking.

Making babies is hard work. But today DH and I are a step closer. It's a small step, but none the less it's a step to celebrate. My FS retrieved 9 eggs on Monday and 7 of the eggs were mature to use. Whilst I was excited by this result, I also knew the cards were stacked against us.

On Tuesday morning I woke up and the negative thoughts began. What if the eggs didn't fertilise? Was DH's fresh sample good enough to use? What if my recovery took longer than expected?

As soon as I realised negative thoughts had invaded my head space, I stopped, took a deep breath, made a cup of tea and began to list the positives;

• 7 mature eggs
• DH was producing sperm again
• My surgery was a success and I'm not in too much pain
• I get to have two days off work, rest and relax
• DH was being a wonderful nurse and looking after my every need
• We'd be OK no matter the outcome

This gave me the courage to have a chat with the Universe. The Universe and I have only had a few chats in the past, but now seemed like a good time. I told the Universe that we were ready for a baby. I imagined holding our baby. I imagined feeling our baby. Now it's time for the Universe (or Mother Nature) to create our baby.

I believe the Universe delivered. I got the call at 10.41am yesterday to say we had two embryos.

This has given me the hope and courage to continue my thoughts of 'having a baby'.

Stillness in cycle #3

I think I stumbled across the feeling of writers block.

Surely I should be bursting with information on day 7 of cycle #3 but my mind is still for some reason. It’s a strange feeling to be honest. Normally I would be on EB ten times a day, researching my every symptom and side effect …. But my latest post was about a bloody iPhone app.

Hmmm. Where did my crazy and obsessive nature towards IVF disappear to?  Trust me I don’t want to send out a search party but I’m trying to diagnose my latest feeling. Am I just becoming a regular to IVF? Or have I finally left my worrying nature behind …. and turned a corner? Time will tell.

………… Ah! Just thought of something to type about. Injections!

The manufacturing company that makes the drug Orgalutran has closed its doors for a month. This means there is now a worldwide shortage of the drug and thousands of women have had to cancel or delay their cycles. Devastating for some.

But I’m one of the lucky one’s. My FS has a secret storage of the drug under a generic name Cetrocide. Feeling grateful? Bursting with it. 

Third time lucky?

For the past 12 months DH and I have debated on the following issues; moving house, more overseas travel, changing jobs and upgrading the cars. We decided to spend some money on the things we were compromising on our two year IVF journey.

Not once did we contemplate doing another IVF cycle. Strange? Not really. Having a break from IVF has been a blessing for our relationship. I did change jobs and DH has just upgraded his car. Two out of four ain’t bad.

But folks, it’s that time of the year again. IVF time.

Whilst it’s hard to believe it’s been 12 months since our last cycle, we feel it’s time to jump back on the IVF rollercoaster and ride it again. Highs and Lows, we’re ready! DH and I are stronger, we’re motivated and we’re remaining positive. It’s time to attempt this for the 3rd time.

Our FS has given us the green light and is happy with the latest sperm freezing results. We’re thrilled the new drug Arimidex has worked; DH’s swimmers are looking good and are waiting in the freezer for us to utilise.

My best friend asked if I’m nervous and funnily enough this time I’m not nervous about the outcome. My FS and I have a slightly different plan this time and to be honest, I know DH and I will be OK if the outcome is negative again. We have all the strength, love and support to get us through the roughest of patches.

Excited much? Hell yeah!