Sunday, 19 September 2010

Tick tock of regrets

Ah, regrets. We’ve all got a few but I’m having trouble deciding whether this is one of them; waiting to late in life to have children.

The steady tick tock of my biological clock only kicked in a few years ago and it refuses to stop. It’s the 'tick tock' that keeps me motivated in this quest for motherhood. It spurs me on to research our fertility issues and prove Mother Nature wrong.

Biologically, women are designed to have children in their 20s. I was 26 years old when I got married and 27 years old when hubby and I decided we were ready for parenthood. Society tells us we must find a partner, date at least 2 years, marry and then begin procreating. But I'm beginning to think conformity can be cruel sometimes as can the big guy upstairs. Hubby and I conformed and followed tradition, however tradition has let us down.

Our bodies won’t allow us to have children the old fashioned way. Lucky for us, we live in the 21st century where medical science can assist us. Well, i hope medical science can assist us. But three years on and we’re still no closer to parenthood. The tick tock noise is constantly ringing and I fear getting older. Each time I blow out my birthday candles, I sense another fertile year is lost. It would be nice to rewind the biological clock.

All my research shows that the older you get, the more complications increase. There is an increased risk of miscarriage, a decline in fertility, complicated pregnancies and difficult births. Not to mention the risk of having a baby with abnormalities or Down syndrome.

I don’t believe 27 years of age is old to begin trying for children. In fact, many of my friends would consider this young. It pains me to realise I could be trying for my 2nd child by now if things had worked out at the tender age of 27. But the older I get, the more I think I’ve missed the boat biologically? Maybe hubby and I waited too long. Maybe this is a regret. The pressure to procreate and beat the clock is so prevalent it’s almost palpable.

Regret? My answer is maybe.

1 comment:

senecio said...

I've just found your blog through the EB website. I like your writing. I've realised recently that I feel not just regret, but a little bit of shame, about this. Shame that I waited 'til i was 33 to start TTC, a little niggle in the back of my mind that I 'deserve' what I'm going through now because I waited so long. And for me there's regret, definitely.