It's time to escape!

I don’t like to use the word HATE, but today I’m using it.

I   HATE   HATE   HATE the 2WW.

It messes with your mind. It messes with your emotions. And it absolutely messes with your credit card.

Every spasm and cramp is a tell-tale pregnancy sign.

• The cramps are surely a sign of your bub getting snug in your uterus. It can’t be PMS!
• The nausea is welcomed with open arms because surely it’s a sign of pregnancy and NOT PMS.
• The headache is surely a sign of pregnancy hormones and NOT a PMS migraine.
• And I can’t forget about implantation spotting, the much sort after bleed that proves bub has taken to its new home – surely this cannot mean a menstrual cycle is around the corner.

The 2WW is an eternity. I swear time stands still. The working days become longer, my addiction to Dr Google gets worse and my ability to sleep evades me. A slight pain here, a little spasm there... and I want to know what it means. Each cycle I promise myself that I won’t read into the symptoms and just wait out the 14 days. Honestly, I have no will power. Clearly I have a weakness and I’m not ashamed to admit it. It’s an effort to fight the urges most days to check what each symptom means.

But for the next 3 days I’ll be too distracted. It’s time to make my escape! I’m jumping on a jet plane today and heading to Melbourne to get me some quality BFF time. JJ will distract me with wine, shopping and the latest Twilight movie no doubt.

Are you, or is someone you know, struggling to get pregnant? 

Today is my due date

I can't believe today has come around so quickly. Today would have been my due date for the baby I lost in March. Time flies when you're grieving, hey :(

Whilst the ache in my arms to hold our baby grows stronger everyday, the journey to this point show me how far I've come. I've healed. I'm not completely healed but the gaping wound that exposed my heart is mending and rejuvenating.


I text hubby to remind him and also text my bestie and our sperm donor. Our sperm donor was the first to respond and said "Nine months from now and you'll have one". It was just what I needed to hear. I really hope our attempts this cycle are a winner.

Tonight I'll light a candle and remember our little peanut.

Our bond was instant and my love infinite. I'm so sorry we didn't get to meet you xx

Legs in the air

I'm back baby!!!  The mind, body and spirit is geared and ready to TTC again.

Slight change of plans. We decided on another home insemination attempt instead of an ICSI cycle. Hubby has started his own company so money is a bit tight at the moment. FS told me to take Temazepam as a precaution (to stop my uterus contracting) ... we don't want another ectopic!

I actually thought I'd missed my ovulation this month but I'm now thinking it's a bad batch of F2F (Fertility2Family) OPKs because I didn't get a single positive. So on CD19, I visited the local Chemist and bought a 7 day OvuPlan kit and got a positive straight away!

Our sperm donor has been visiting every 2nd day to provide us with a quality batch of Olympic swimmers.  Fingers crossed.

Anyone else ever had 4 days of positive OPK's?  Normally I only get 1-2 days of positives before the line goes faint. But so far each test is stronger than the control line.

I've been waving my legs in the air like I just don't care (for you groovers out there) for the past few days. My hips are very achy, experiencing insomnia, had a week of pimples leading up to my first positive OPK, a bit bloated and lower back is sore.

The only ovulation sign missing is no EWCM. A bit watery on day 1 but nothing since.

Dreading the 2ww because I'm as nervous as hell. I can handle a BFN but I can't handle another a 3rd ectopic.

PS - Come visit me over at www.theloverlist.com
My blog about falling in love with your life