CD50 / 29DPO - i'm still pregnant

Yes, you read the title correctly - I am still pregnant.

The surgery on Friday was unsuccessful at locating the ectopic and my Dr was forced to close up. He did find a bulging mass on the right side of my uterus wall but he was not 100% convinced it was the pregnancy.

So imagine my shock and horror when I was wheeled back to the recovery bay area only to discover the surgery had failed.

Devastating.

The Dr came by on Saturday morning and asked me to go home and rest and come back to the hospital on Tuesday for repeats tests.

So today I brought moral support with me - hubby and my mum. Off to the hospital we trot and I'm put through my paces again - more bloods, more scans, more questions.

Guess what? THEY FINALLY FOUND MY PREGNANCY.

Located in an awful spot of my uterus wall. Bub is measuring around 5mm and has a heart beat of 105. My heart shattered into a million pieces when the sonographer said it's still non-viable.

I saw my baby's heart beating. I saw the beautiful round spot it occupies in my uterus. I see where it calls home.

And still it's non-viable and I need to end it's life because of a location. A location. WTF?

Dr calls it a cornual ectopic pregnancy and it's the worse kind you can get. Of course it's the worse kind - could only happen to me. The surgery to remove this type of pregnancy is major and life threatening. Four in 11 women die from this type of surgery. The biggest risk is bleeding out and needing a hysterectomy.

Am I scared? I'm petrified.

Am I worried? My anxiety is through the roof.

The surgery is booked for Thursday afternoon and all I can do is pray like crazy everything will be ok.

I'm already so connected to this baby and it's going to tear me apart that surgery on Thursday will end it's life. My focus now is surviving the surgery as best I can.

CD42 / 21DPO - levels are up

CD42 / 21DPO
15DPO = 49
17DPO = 90
19DPO  = 190
Today's level at 21DPO = 469!!!!!!!!

The hospital needed to see me again today. I was soooooooo nervous about today's results. Heart pounding. Feeling nauseous. Fidigity. 

Saturday's (19DPO) hCG levels rose to 190. More than doubled which is good. The clinic nurse made me an emergency appt to have a scan as well - which was super nice of her.

The scan didn't reveal anything. The sonographer told me there was no sac to be seen in the uterus yet, but she didn't expect to see anything with levels of 190. (hCG levels normally have to be in the 2000's to see anything).

The corpus luteum is still on my left ovary and she couldn't see an ectopic on the left or right side. The sonographer did say my levels were doubling and that's what counts.

A few hours later, Lisa (from EPAS clinic) called me with today's results = 469!! She said this was great and again, it's more than doubled.

I'm flying to Brisbane tomorrow to attend my grandmother's funeral. Lisa is a bit concerned about me travelling and has printed off my records in case I miscarry or experience any severe pain whilst in Brisbane. The records will assist the Brisbane Hospital should anything happen. But I know I'll be fine!

The plan from here? Repeat hCG on Wednesday and I'm booked for bloods and another scan on Friday.

Keep those fingers crossed for me ladies!!!!!!